🥀 A Table for One, Please: Choosing Myself Even When It Hurts

Thursday started with a heavy feeling on my chest.

Not the kind you can fix with a stretch or a cup of tea. It was the kind of weight that shows up when your heart is tangled between clarity and sadness. When you know you're doing what’s best for you, but it still hurts like hell.

That morning, everything hit me at once—guilt, grief, frustration, loneliness, anger, even a little shame. The emotional fog was thicccckkk, and I didn’t have the energy to talk it out. I just knew I needed space. Space to breathe. Space to feel. Space to simply exist without being asked to explain why I needed the space in the first place.

So I took myself on a solo date. Not to chase aesthetics. Not for content. But because I genuinely needed a moment to be alone, away from the pressure, the noise, and the expectations—mine and everyone else’s.

I chose an Italian restaurant—something warm, comforting, and slow. I didn’t dress up for anyone but myself. I sat in my own quiet, ordered what I wanted, and gave myself permission to just… be. It wasn’t glamorous. It wasn’t ground breaking. But it was necessary. There’s something sacred about sitting at a table alone—especially when your emotions are still raw and real. I didn’t pretend to be fine. I didn’t rush through the meal. I let myself feel soft and safe, even in public. That was the self-care. That was the healing.

This night reminded me:

✨ I don’t have to be fully healed to show up for myself.

✨ I don’t owe anyone access to me while I’m still figuring things out.

✨ I’m allowed to step back, protect my peace, and realign with the version of me I’m trying to become. Choosing yourself isn’t always bold or loud. Sometimes, it’s as simple as saying, “Table for one, please.”

💭 Reflections

Would I do it again? Absolutely. Not just because the food was good, but because I was good to myself. If you’re in a place where your emotions feel heavy and the world feels loud, take yourself out. Whether it's to dinner, a museum, a bookstore, or a park bench—go be with yourself. No explanations. No pressure. Just presence. You deserve that kind of love from you.