Consistency with Self: A Love Letter to the Woman I’m Becoming

I realized something while driving the other day: I crave consistent friendships. Not the kind where you talk every day or see each other constantly. I’m not asking for anyone to be up under me all the time. I just want energy that feels familiar safe, real, steady. The kind of connection where we can go days, weeks, or even months without talking, and then I get a random Tuesday afternoon “just checking on you” text. That’s enough for me. That’s love. That’s consistency.

But here’s the part that hit me hard: I’ve been wanting that from others while barely giving it to myself.

I want people to show up for me emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. But some days, I don’t even check in on me. I skip the water. I skip the prayers. I scroll instead of stretching. I stay up late trying to soothe an ache that honestly needs stillness, not stimulation.

As someone living with PCOS and HS, I know what it feels like to be on an emotional rollercoaster thanks to hormone imbalance. The highs can be beautiful, and the lows can feel like drowning. Sometimes I just need someone anyone to remind me I’m not invisible. That I’m not “too much” for feeling deeply. That I’m still loved, even when my mood isn’t cute and curated.

But more than that, I’m learning that I have to become that person for me first.

What Consistency Means to Me Now

Consistency isn’t about being perfect or performing. It’s about creating steady rituals that make me feel safe in my own body, mind, and space.

It looks like:

✨ Praying in the morning even if it’s just a whisper

✨ Drinking water with intention

✨ Moving my body three times a week (not to shrink it, but to honor it)

✨ Taking slow baths and rubbing cocoa butter into my skin like it’s sacred

✨ Reminding myself, daily, that I am loved even when no one else is around to say it

I Want to Be the Kind of Friend I Crave

I want to give myself the same love I give to others. I’m the kind of friend that checks on you even when you’re quiet. That shows up if you need a ride, a prayer, or just someone to sit in silence with you. I’m that kind of woman. And I’m learning to be that kind of woman to myself.

Because that consistency I crave from others? It starts within me. It starts with me holding space for my own healing, even on the days it’s messy or slow.

To the Women Who Feel This Too…

Sis, you’re not alone. If your hormones got you feeling like a storm one day and sunshine the next I see you. If you’ve ever sat in your room and felt like nobody understands how deeply you feel things I feel you. And if you’re just trying to show up for yourself in a world that makes that feel like a luxury I honor you. We’re not crazy. We’re not too much. We’re not broken. We’re just doing this thing called life without a step-by-step guide. We’re winging it with heart. With softness. With strength.

And that’s more than enough.

A Love Letter to the Woman I’m Becoming

Dear me, You’re showing up in ways you

never thought you could. Every prayer, every glass of water, every deep breath you’re building a home inside yourself. Keep going. You don’t need to chase love. You are love— With grace, always