Dear Me: A Letter to the Girl Who Just Found Out She Has PCOS

Dear Me,

You just heard the words “You have PCOS” and now everything feels blurry. You’re sitting in that doctor’s office, confused and trying to hold it together. But deep down, you’re scared. You’ve never even heard of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, and now it’s somehow your reality. All the doctor tells you is that it might be hard for you to have kids and that the hair on your chin and chest is from this condition. That was it. No explanation. No next steps. No real care.

Later, another doctor … a man

tells you it’s because you have “more male hormones” than most women. He says that’s what’s behind your symptoms. You nod again, but you still don’t understand. You leave that office with a name PCOS …. but still no roadmap.

So you start searching.

You find videos on YouTube. Podcasts. Facebook groups. TikToks. You find your current doctor the one who finally sits down and explains everything to you with compassion and clarity. The one who actually teaches you about your own body.

And that’s when it clicks. You finally realize:

PCOS isn’t just a condition. It’s a lot.

And it can take over your whole life if you let it.

Here’s what I wish I had known back then the things I had to learn the hard way:

✨ 1. PCOS affects every part of you not just your period.

It’s your skin. Your mood. Your hair. Your energy. Your emotions. Your weight. Your cravings. Your sense of control. It’s all of it, all at once.

✨ 2. My hormones are more imbalanced than the average woman every single day.

Mood swings that feel like whiplash. Night sweats and chills. Constant fatigue. At one point, Google told me I was going through early menopause and I was only 22.

✨ 3. Because of PCOS, I crave sugar and carbs that make my symptoms worse

It’s not that I’m weak it’s hormonal. PCOS disrupts how your body processes insulin, which creates strong, persistent cravings for all the things that inflame it even more. It’s a cycle that takes time to break, and it’s not easy.

✨ 4. PCOS changed my period and changed me.

Some months, I didn’t bleed at all. Other times, I bled for weeks heavy, painful, exhausting periods that left me anemic and emotionally wrecked. No one told me that was part of this.

✨ 5. The hair on my chin and chest made me feel ashamed.

No one talks about the emotional toll of “female facial hair.” I didn’t feel feminine. I didn’t feel pretty. I felt embarrassed, like something was wrong with me until I learned the truth: it’s hormonal, not shameful. I manage it now, but I no longer hate myself for it.

✨ 6. PCOS can make you feel lazy when you’re really just inflamed and exhausted.

The fatigue hit me like a wall. My body felt heavy. My brain couldn’t focus. I used to beat myself up for not being more productive until I realized I was living in survival mode.

✨ 7. My weight has been up and down and that’s still a battle.

Even when I eat better or move more, the scale doesn’t always reflect the effort. The weight gain is stubborn and hormonal. The fluctuation messes with your mind. But I’ve learned to have compassion for the body I’m in while still working to support it.

I’m not at the “after” photo yet but I still show up for the version of me who keeps trying and that’s healing too.

✨ 8. Finding the right doctor made all the difference.

When I finally found someone who explained things clearly, I stopped feeling crazy. I started understanding my body, my symptoms, and what I needed to support myself. You deserve a doctor who listens don’t settle for anything less.

✨ 9. Community helped me breathe.

Hearing other women say “me too” saved me. Seeing stories that mirrored mine made me feel normal again. Whether it was through social media, podcasts, or online groups I realized I didn’t have to go through this in silence.

✨ 10. PCOS doesn’t define you but it does demand your attention.

This condition forces you to pay attention to your body in ways you never have before. And while that’s frustrating at times, it’s also been a strange kind of gift. It taught me to listen, to slow down, to nurture myself more deeply than I ever had before.

✨ 11. Hair grows where I don’t want it and thins where I wish it would stay.

PCOS gave me facial hair I didn’t ask for… and started taking the hair I loved from my scalp. I didn’t realize the thinning at my crown or the shedding in the shower was part of it too.

It made me feel like I was aging too fast. It made me obsess over edges, parts, hairstyles, and how I showed up in the world. And it hurt.

No one warned me that PCOS could affect how I see myself in the mirror.

But now I know it’s hormonal. It’s real. And I’m learning how to care for my hair (and myself) with more patience, grace, and support. It’s not just about regrowth it’s about healing the relationship I have with my reflection.

Final Words to My Younger Self:

If you’re newly diagnosed…

If you’re scared and confused…

If you feel like your body is turning against you…

You are not broken.

You are not lazy.

You are not weak.

You are not alone.

You are learning a whole new language ….the language of your hormones, your cycles, your triggers, your healing.

And I promise, one day it will make sense.

One day you’ll feel in tune.

And on that day, you’ll forgive the girl who didn’t know because now, you do.

With softness, strength, and love,

Me but wiser.